Bombarded by warnings and daunting headlines, fear and
anxiety are plaguing modern parents. Bullet-proof backpacks, cellphones with
built-in GPS, monitoring through webcams, infant helmets for babies learning
their first steps, are just some examples for the blitz of safety products for
concerned parents.
Studies find that over the last 20 years, anxiety levels have jumped among
parents and kids. Living in a culture of fear, with fragmented communities and
dwindled social supports, together with the sense of worry about global
competition, job security, and the fear of falling behind, parents are hovering
over their kids, and monitor their activities more and more, wanting to protect
the children from risky situations, and anxious to give them a competitive edge
with sophisticated knowledge.
Ironically, this protective and child-centred approach of family life fails to
instil in kids a sense of competence, self-confidence and independence. Instead,
they emerge as anxious young adults, unable to take responsibility, with a sense
of entitlement but little common sense and unequipped to deal with adversity.
There is a balance between protecting our children and giving them the
opportunity to develop as individuals. Perhaps the greatest fear is fear itself.
By bubble-wrapping children’s life, parents may have the illusion of control,
but they are also intruding on the children’s learning opportunities and
depriving them of important life lessons, of finding their own inner resources
and their sense of appraising danger and making wise decisions. A parent’s role
is not just to protect, nor just to provide a competitive edge, but to help
children to develop in all levels, to have a strong sense of self identity, to
have confidence, and to relate to others in courteous and respectful way. That
is, the philosophical way, to have individuals, with inner strength, happy and
autonomous, in spite of life’s challenges.
