Author, journalist and father, Carl Honoré recently
returned to the streets of his old Edmonton neighbourhood. Gone were the
children and with them, the play. Children still lived in this neighbourhood,
but the majority were indoors, presumably being kept safe from innumerable
dangers. Perhaps they were busied with TV or the Internet, maybe being enriched
by a tutor.
Pregnant women playing DJ for their in utero offspring with brain stimulating
music and Shanghai’s “early MBA” program for those just out of diapers, are but
two examples of a “hyper parenting” culture. From the late 1970s to 1997,
American children lost as many as an estimated 12 hours per week of recreational
time.
In Britain, from the 1970s, the average distance children are allowed to stray
from home has decreased by as much as 90 per cent. “Over time, a kind of
Stockholm syndrome sets in, where leaving the parental orbit, even in adulthood,
is a frightening prospect.”
What ensues are young adults who are ill-prepared to take on responsibility or
even handle simple decisions independently. Because they miss those essential
learning moments early on, adversity is not something that they handle well.
Perhaps a little bit of chaos in the beginning stages is exactly what is needed
to develop the order, structure and matter of the later years. Perhaps getting
bumped and bruised, encountering problems without the tether of a cell phone,
finding their own way and discovering their own hidden resources is just what is
needed.
Loosening the parental grip, unstructuring playtime and allowing children those
building blocks of childhood may help bring a stronger sense of self, a greater
degree of confidence and the possibility to live a life of their own making.
